Tag Archive | Relationships

    “Train your Mind to love yourself”

           mind & heart            

Mind is the most powerful tool we all human beings have as it controls our body and we live life based on the quality of thoughts we have. Our life is shaped by the quality of thoughts we become what we think. When our mind dips in an ocean of joy the same reflect in our thoughts and we start feeling joy and happy in every thing and when our mind is in darker side it starts developing negative thoughts. Now the question is how to train your mind to stop from negative thinking and start thinking in positive way. First we should understand the reasons and situations why our mind start thinking in the negative manner. In other words we should first understand the process our mind thinks under different situations. None of us is a negative person by birth its all depend on our environment and situations. Let us consider the factors which lead our mind to these negative thoughts. The very first thing we need to do is not to stop your thoughts because when we stop anything we will rethink it over again and again. Let your thoughts pass like black clouds passing through the blue sky, have you ever noticed black clouds passing and after some days sometimes on that very day sky clears and sun shines, our thoughts are also work like this do not stop them from thinking every thought will pass in its time. Do not give power to your negative thoughts because if you gave them power you are giving them right to ruin your life. On the other hand there are other practical reasons our thoughts develops that is based on the company or circle of people where we spend most of our time and it is very obvious that our mind get distracted with every type of thoughts which you share in your circle or your circle share with you it is called exchanging of your thoughts. Our mind never sleeps it can only be relaxed and calm.You all will notice huge difference in the circle of positive people and negative people under different situations even you notice the difference in the behavior of your thoughts under the influence of these two positive and negative circles which further means that there is a need to keep your circle and surroundings in check because it definitely influence your thought process. More interaction with positive peoples more positive and happy thoughts and less interaction with negative people less negative and rigid thoughts so avoid negative people as much as you can or at least distance your self from their negative aura. Our subconscious mind records every event of our life whether good or bad. Mind is not triggered by one unfruitful or bad thought it got triggered when lots of similar type of events starts happening in our lives and it is only our mind which repeats those events and dominate our lives. Some events happened in life that leaves strong impact on our mind that it rewinds those events in form of thoughts again and again that we start visualizing it in our dreams like if anybody is going through a bad phase in life in terms of relationship or having disturbed professional life or not getting to their goals in lives. It all happens because somewhere in our mind we feel guilty of ourselves and blame ourselves for those events that occur in our life and that are where we surrender to negativity. To get rid of such thoughts first stop blaming yourself and start admiring yourself for such beautiful blessed life you got, those bad events happened not because of you it might happened because of the wrong decisions or wrong persons you have in your life and that’s ok if you commit any mistake we all are human beings and mistakes are the greatest teachers we all learn from them there is this famous quote “Don’t waste time in grieving over past mistakes learn from them and move on”. Committing mistakes are necessary in order to transform you into the better person. Do not be so harsh on your self train your mind by instructing it to forget and forgive and let all the unwanted thoughts go, forgive your mistakes and bad experiences of your life and thank life for teaching you so that you grow and become stronger in life. Train your mind to frame positive thoughts and see positive side of even unfruitful event that if it that bad experience had not happened into your life you will not be able to learn and grow in life, Bad experiences are required in our lives in order to makes us believe in ourselves to make us even more stronger. Life does not end with the events which occur in our lives it is all in our mind that start or end things in life. We admire so many people in our lives and somewhere we wish to become like them reason is that they celebrate each moment of their lives and we attracted towards their happiness and joy in life. So why we cant become one of  them we all have beautiful minds why shall we not stop cribbing and start appreciating little things we have in our lives, we all are intelligent and unique in our own way we just need to work on ourselves by training your mind to love yourself.

“Building Lasting Relationship”

 

true

Relationships are important part of everybody’s life. Most part of our life depends directly or indirectly on the relationships we are having and encounter with. We feel happy being in a healthy relationship and vice versa. We depends our happiness on having a close relationship or love relationship that we forget to love ourselves for being the person we truly are. If you really want to work on your relationship first you need to work on you in order to get things right back on track in your close relationship.

Many surveys & research in this particular area shows that being in a healthy relationship not only enhances one’s personal growth but also helps to lead a balanced and happy life. We have seen so many couples who are unhappy with their partners and they  do not aware of their minor mistakes which in turn going towards becoming the bigger grounds of failure if not amend on time, one can overcome these minor mistakes before they turmoil the whole relationship. Following are few things which needs reality check

  • Doubting your partner: Lack of trust in your partner makes your relationship suffocating and your partner starts looking for the option because trust is the basic and very first requirement before entering into any relationship .In case if you have any doubt communication is the key , talk to your partner and clear your doubts. Be sincere & truthful while making conversation and clearing your doubts because it will help you to maintain the respect and dignity of your relationship and also learn to heal your negative thoughts by changing your thought process for your partner.
  • No personal space: We all are so much happy when we fall into the relationship especially when your heart connects with special someone. As time passes relationship also grows becomes mature and life comes on the monotony track expecting that our partner’s space is been filled by you that s/he does not required space anymore, this is the very first thread which you broke having unrequited expectation of being with you no matter what is happening in his or her life taking them so granted that they required to be with you whenever wherever you need them. Why such too many expectations??? Can you imagine by doing this you are loosening your first thread of your relationship for making it suffocating with your lame expectations. Let your partner enjoys their spaces they also have their life without you as well. Let them not disconnect from them, let them not feel that by being in relationship with you they had sacrifice their entire life and space. Imagine yourself instead if somebody put so much clauses on your life to live can you live your life? No you won’t then how come relationship works. Rather you are giving your partner the reason to look for other option.
  • Ignorance of small little things: Everybody has to agree here that the devotion they gave to their partners at the early stages of their relationships is not able to give that devotion as the time passes. They started ignoring and sometimes miss to do the small things for their partners which they use to do when they were in their early stages. They forget that affection and commitment needs to be reminded again and again and it is also necessary to strengthen the relationship further like the same way we celebrates our birthdays that reminds us that one more year has been deducted from our life boat we have long journey to accomplish. Be generous in showing your feelings via texting your partner, gave them short phone calls, token of affection to freshen up your relationship. These small little things are very important for relationship to last forever. Start working seriously on misunderstandings if any exists without wasting anymore time in exaggerating the same.
  • Constant Complains : Do you all like if somebody has so much complain with us directly or indirectly even in our professional life we do not like criticism even if the same is beneficial for our growth and if the degree of the same increases we start looking for change. Then imagine how it feels when you constant complain about your partner in other way try to dominate them or try to control their lives. Everyone has a right to live his/her life and that also a positive life full of hopes. If there is any misunderstanding solve it but stop constant complaining and start appreciating the positive side of your partner by accepting and respect the way s/he is.
  • Loosening your secretive boundaries: Every relationship has its own personal secret space which needed to be between two persons. But sometimes partners after having fights share their experiences or fears with other people without even realizing that they are loosening their bond of trust in which other people just can’t do anything instead of pricking the wound. Do not let them break your secret boundaries. Nobody can sought out anything between you accept you and your partner. Many of the studies show that by letting other people peep into your private space further worsens the whole situation instead of nursing it so maintain your secret boundaries it is called secret because it is meant to be secret.
  • Being over-possessive: Every girl and guy enjoys little possessiveness for each other as it shows their need and love for each other but if this dose increases it becomes over- possessive took no time to turn into brutal shape and murder any relationship  and even haunts the entire relationship. That love and neediness take shape of madness and puts your partner into negative zone. Possessive to some extent is alright as it boosts the relationship and strengthens the desire of wanting your partner in your life but do not haunt them. If your partner meant to be with you s/he will be with you no matter what,  over-possessive rather force your partner to stay away for you and  also you get them on the verge of breaking up. Do not doubt about your relationship if its base is stronger it will grow with the time and if it is not it will break any point of time no matter how hard you try it to stay.
  • Putting all barriers/Restrictions: I have come across so many couples who complains about so much restrictions from their partner’s side like not to go with friends, not to talk to certain people, not to wear that clothing, behave in certain way, not to go anywhere without informing them.. so many barriers and restrictions and still expecting it too work…Kindly rethink..If somebody restrict your life that much one even cannot breathe in such environment then how can any relationship breathe which meant to be a beautiful experience. Do not put any barriers let you both work on adjustment part instead which helps both of you to come closer to each other and strengthen all your threads.

Every relationship is like weaving a beautiful tapestry which everyone can make by working on those colorful broken threads which requires unconditional love, admiration, freedom & appreciation. Many people become hopeless in terms of their relationships and do not even try to repair it. It is fine to end up the bad relationship because it is like stretching the rubber which will hurt you try focus on what you required and desired in life so that you and your partner grow together. Above are the common mistakes which loosen your relationship threads and results in bad experience  by working on these areas one can be able to make their own tapestry worth admiring.

Live-in Relationship in India -Awakening Call

xoxo

 

Live-in relationship is becoming a trend these days and pacing very fast in our Indian society particularly the ratio is high in metro cities. On one hand west cultures are adopting Indian culture to which on the other hand our Indian society is adopting their unjustified culture of living together before sacred union called “marriage”. This live-in relationship is getting quite popular especially among the new generation and they are entering into just as the  trend going in our film industry which further encourging this concept.
Although being involved in a live-in relationship is a matter of individual decision, which, one should be free enough to take but at the same time one must be aware of its fatal consequences as every relationship is based on love, trust, understanding and commitment for whole life, one wrong step turns your life into miserable condition and when it comes to spending whole life with somebody who is a complete stranger to one, what matters more is that the emotional or mental requirements may get fulfilled. In many cases it has been observed that live-in sort of relations also do not guarantee a full life commitment, lack of patience in almost everything are the reasons which are giving rise to such concepts like flings, one night stand & live-in relationships but they forget if marriages can be broken so can live-in relationships be. What essential thing that is terribly missing today in any relationship is love, trust and commitment. Sometimes it takes few moments to understand someone and sometimes one cannot understand other during entire lifetime. Many of these live-in relationships ends with the  alarming experience note  still consider this relationship as  a tool for compatibility test passing wrong legacy to the future generation , do you really think it is that easy to move on after going through so much mental torture in life and with the beautiful feeling called “love experience “.
Live-in relationships are like quick fix thing, they are temporary in nature and involves lot of risks specifically for female partners as this ruin them emotionally as well physically so one has to be careful while entering into this type of relationship as you are directly or indirectly giving or accepting invitation to not so commitment based relationship. Many of people took this relationship in order to check their compatibility, what if according to one feels the compatibility and other don’t and comes in the sufferer zone. Survey has noted higher rate of separation in live in relationship couples as there is temporary romance than the long lasting trustworthy relationships.

 

To conclude Some people might be having good experiences but I personally feel Life is a bit complicated thing. It should be tested  to the  certain limits which involve less risks considering emotions & sensitive feelings.